Atsui
by KuroiAoiShishio
Summary: **Hiatus** A drought, no water, rough winds, and dry air. Hell. However, the dry spell smothering Edo may just be what Kaoru needs to wade through her tattered emotions and find herself. Or, it may be just the kick Kenshin needs to get himself together. Will they manage to survive with their sanity? Or will the heat best the two? Rated T for now...
1. Atsui

This Fanfic is loosely influenced by Hakama Dake by Indygodusk. Check it out, it's a really good story!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Kenshin-gumi.

The tell-tale whisper of wood slicing through the air filled the afternoon surrounding the Kamiya Dojo. Momentary silences were repeatedly broken at brief intervals. Puffs of controlled breath and swishes of fabric accompanied the swift strokes.

"Mou…" Came the harsh groan from inside the structure. However, no one was around to answer the complaints.

Kaoru rose from the crouched finish of her kata and swiped a sleeve over her forehead, only to frown as the action did nothing to rid her face of the rivulets of sweat that were clouding her vision. In fact, the drenched sleeve of her gi only made it worse.

Outside of the secluded dojo, the parched grass was blanched brown; the dirt was caked and cracked; the trees were limp, lifeless, and parched, like everything else. Shimmery plumes wafted from the heat soaked surfaces and cast illusions upon the eye. It seemed like Earth herself was melting under Summer's rueful glare.

Dry winds whipped up, but served more to cast dust about than to bring relief. Kaoru moaned again.

The dojo she had been planning on teaching at that morning had cancelled on her, not that she minded, the heat was excruciating, no one in their right mind would dare do any manual labor in weather like this. Apparently, Kaoru wasn't in her right mind.

Thinking back, the young woman couldn't think of a summer more blazing. Sure, droughts happened, however, the extent of this particular dry spell had been going on far too long for comfort. And, unfortunately, there was no reprieve in sight.

"Alright," grumbled the sweaty girl, "the tabi are coming off this round." And indeed they did. Kaoru stooped low and pried the liquid soaked garments off her prunish feet. Her nose wrinkled in blatant disgust at both the effort it took and the condition- and smell- of her feet afterwards. Not only that, but she had almost wrenched her ankle in the process of removal.

As she sat back to let her feet air for a moment, her mind began to wander. It was a habit she could not control, even after rounds of training and meditation, as soon as that thin veil was broken, her mind took off. Lately, though, it seemed to even scurry off during her training. Luckily her style had been so ingrained into her being, she could go through the routine instinctively and without thought.

'_I wonder how much longer the others will be?'_ Everyone else had headed off into town earlier that morning. Each had expected the dojo to be uninhabited for the day and therefore deemed it unnecessary to twiddle their thumbs in this heat. A sigh drifted from her parched lips as she considered the wisdom in their actions, heck, even she had had plans this morning; though, in hindsight, she should've known they'd be cancelled.

A mild curse slipped vehemently from her mind and through her mouth at the wretched day. Of course, she could've called it quits long ago and gone to town to find shelter with friends, yet somehow the thought of being alone allured her tangled mind.

'_Maybe now,'_ she thought, '_I can try and figure something out...'_

Like a leaf tossed to the river, her thoughts went wayward and drifted out. Of course, the first brilliant imagery would be violet and vivid. How could she not immediately think of her wonderful rurouni whenever her thoughts took rein.

Amidst the sweat and grime, her lips cracked into a fond smile. She had long considered Himura Kenshin to be hers,just like his opponents had long considered her his; though she wasn't sure where the possessiveness came from. She definitely wasn't opposed to the thought, dare she say she hoped for it? However, she knew her place in Kenshin's heart, and it wasn't interest, not like that.

Her thoughtfulness took a melancholic turn, but she didn't hinder its course. She needed some semblance of organization lest she make herself insane. So, with only slight trepidation, she perused what her mind and memories had to offer.

She immediately found herself treading on long forsaken ground.

"_Okaa-san…" The lilting voice bubbled down the halls of the small dojo. Wide, jewel blue eyes scanned the dimming interior with a curious eye. "Kaa-san…" _

_Five year old Kaoru, even then, knew little of fear. Curiosity drove her to do and say things that not a lot of young girls would say or do. She didn't care. Her parents didn't mind either, they'd answer her questions with a smile, or correct her slip-ups with a careful hand and kind words._

_Her father was gone. Off to wherever he'd go to sometimes. She wished he wouldn't go. She would hear her mother's tears when he left, and she'd see the students anxiety and anxiousness to get back to training. She wanted to train too. She wanted to use the protecting sword to help people, but right now, she just wanted kaa-san._

_Small feet padded gently across the wooden floor, hardly making a sound as she mulled about. It was getting dark, and tonight, she didn't want to sleep alone. Odd shuffling sounds pricked at her ears as she passed her tou-san and kaa-san's room. It sounded strange to her young ears and alerted her with nothing more than mild curiosity as she slid open the shoji door._

_Her eyes blinked to adjust to the darkness, only to find herself looking at the prone form of her mother._

"_Who's there?" Demanded a gruff voice. A scary voice._

"_Kaa-san?" Her voice was small and timid as her feet wobbled forward. There was an unpleasant smell in the air. One that she didn't like. It smelled like a strange metal and it was so strong she could almost taste the salty wang._

"_Damn, it's the brat! Hurry-"_

_She didn't hear or understand much after that. She didn't remember anything more than waking up, days later, in her tou-san's arms._

_She had hurt. But the way her father had looked at that moment- so lost, weak- she began to feel numb._

"_Tou-san…" Was the only thing she had strength to do, the air to say. She passed out soon after._

Kaoru didn't know when she had begun her katas again. She didn't know why she was using such force. She also had never learned what had happened after her memory loss.

Frankly, she didn't want to.

She pivoted on her supporting foot and carved the air in a diagonal arc. Her hair whipped and coiled like an angry viper, reddening the skin it hit.

Her mother had been murdered.

She had gained a scar.

Both emotionally, and physically.

It wasn't long after that that she had snapped out of the life sucking depression she had fallen into, and at the age of six, walked into the dojo, during practice, and demanded her father learn her in Kamiya Kasshin-ryū. He had angrily refused. It had been the single most terrifying moment of her life, and she meant that to this day.

Not even Shishio or Enishi had scared her more. She doubted even Battousai's fury could match the absolute fear her father had instilled in her, as doubtful as that seemed.

She had known, though, even at six, that his anger was fueled from anguish. Days later, he apologized and agreed to start her on the basics of the family style.

She had never been more happy then at that moment.

"_Tou-san, why do you have to go?" Slight tears pricked at the back of Kaoru's eyes. "Why do you have to fight?"_

_A long suffering sigh escaped Koshijiro's thin mouth as he stared down at his daughter's blue were torrential and dark, like a storm tossed sea. _

"_Hime-chan," he began, "I must go. I must fight." His jaw hardened as he fought just as hard to convince himself as his nigh teenaged daughter._

"_I am going to fight for you, to ensure your future. You are a strong, brave girl, Hime-chan, you will be fine while I'm gone." And then he was gone._

_He would come back from deployment randomly, and seldom for long. Just long enough to make it worse when he left again. Each time he returned, he would teach her a new kata and ensure that the one learned prior was as perfect as could be expected of a 13 year old._

'_It was just after teaching me the final kata that I heard the news.'_

A downward strike. A twist to the right and a diagonal slash and block.

It was then that she decided to try and calm her thoughts. They were getting too far off the beaten track, and the old scars were tingling with phantom pains. She shook her head loosely and rubbed her wrists. It was a lost cause to try and suppress her morose thoughts now, it would only lead to bad things later on.

The question now was, would she regret herself now?

At that moment, a sharp gust of heat whipped through the open dojo, causing dust to fly and Kaoru's gi to become even clingier than it had been just moments before, if that was possible. With a groan and a desperate attempt to rid her mouth of the desert that had taken up residence, she firmly decided that she was wearing far too many clothes.

With a firm hand she yanked the bottom of her gi from her hakama. At first, the stubborn fabric refused to relent. It took a few good tugs and a curse or two she'd learned from Sano before the cotton finally came free. She was almost giddy as she practically ripped the offending garment from her torso.

Now, bared to the world, she allowed a relieved groan to express the sheer comfort she felt without the sweat-drenched clothes constricting her.

It was a wonder she hadn't thought of this sooner.

Timidly, another thought reared its head. One so astounding and so outlandish, She had to stop and blink and admire it.

Kicking the mass of wet fabric aside, she slid into a wide position in the middle of the dojo floor. For the first time since her father's death, Kaoru intended to perform the last kata sequence for the Kamiya Kasshin-ryū.

A heavy breath filled her lungs as she drew in, and out. Breathing steadily and deeper with every ounce of oxygen took in. Her muscles tingled with the thought of what she was about to do.

A brief stir in the air went off like a gun in her head and sent her into a controlled frenzy. Her feet swept across the floor easily without the soaked tabi catching oddly on the floor. Kaoru's body slid and carved through the air with remarkable ease. It was a how such amazing how a subtle change could affect the shihandai's abilities so drastically.

"_Now, Kaoru, I'm going to let you in on a little secret." Confided the Kamiya patriarch to the young girl. He was crouched low to be eye level with the 10 year old. Enraptured, the girl focused all of her attention on her father. Large doe eyes met his as he began._

"_In order to master swordsmanship, it is imperative that you learn hand-to-hand combat as well. This is especially important for the final stages of Kamiya Kasshin. A true master of this style needs, not only to wield a sword, but their own body if no other weapon is available."_

_At first, the blue of Kaoru's eyes clouded in confusion. Of course all kendo required various other budo skills. Kicks, and sometimes even punches, could be the turning point in a battle if used correctly. Knowledge of alternate styles also helped read an opponent and increased one's perception in a fight._

"_The final stages of Kamiya Kasshin are not defensive as the rest of the style is. It is not meant to counter an attack, but to initiate it."_

"_But Otou-san," Kaoru started, "Kamiya Kasshin can be used offensively anyway. I've see you use it."_

"_Ah," agreed the older man, "that is indeed true. However, that does not change the fact that our style is designed to take the opponents energy and force, and turn it against them. No matter who starts the fight, the Kamiya Kasshin-ryū was created to incapacitate your opponent as quickly as possible and using as little of your own energy as you can afford. Our style designed for saving lives, Kaoru."_

"_Hai, Tou-san. The sword that protects." The little girl chirped happily. _

"_But, the final kata is reserved for a different purpose. And for that purpose, you need to begin training in hand-to-hand combat, as much as possible._

Of course, young Kaoru hadn't understood then the importance of the training, but she had after the final kata was performed for her four years later.

Barely five steps through the movements, though, she could feel the wrongness. The awkwardness of the wood cutting through the shadows. She knew why. She just didn't want to think about it.

Halting in place, she swayed slightly towards a jug of water she had hauled out with her and dipped some out. In her mouth it was warm and slightly gritty. Not very refreshing.

Her fist clenched around the shinai in her hand as she actually considered what she knew would remedy the flow of the movements.

A sigh trembled out of her mouth as she fought her warring emotions. It was not an easy decision.

~

Japanese terms (As they appear.)

Kamiya Kasshin-ryū - Kendo style created by Kaoru's father  
Mou - Geez

Kata - Martial arts exercise

Gi - Japanese top, usually worn with _hakama_

Tabi - Thick Japanese socks with a notch in the middle for sandals

Rurouni - Word created strictly for the series, meaning wanderer

(O)kaa-san - Mother

(O)tou-san - Father  
Battousai - Kenshin's assassin name  
Hakama - Billowy pants usually worn with _gi_

Shihandai - Assistant master

Kendo - Martial arts that uses swords  
Budo - Martial Arts

Please review.

Lion


	2. Shugosha

Chapter two. If you guessed what the "wrongness" was, kudos. Incredibly sorry for the long delay, my home life is really unsteady right now...

~I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any affiliates.

Resolution. That's what it would take to face her demons. Wading through Hell wouldn't leave her unscathed, but it may lead to heaven. She had to take a chance with this.

Heavy steps took her to the small closet at the back of the dojo. Once there, it took her a moment to clear it out to reveal a hidden compartment. Her breath hitched when she laid eyes on it. This particular spot hadn't seen the light of day in over five years.

"I guess I don't really have much of a choice..." Kaoru murmured. She had gotten this far and done this much, she couldn't stop now.

With a timid hand she reached over and pried open the wooden box. A length of fabric lay neatly at the bottom, concealing the true treasure hidden there.

"Here I go, Tou-san. This is for you." Her features then took on a look of steely resolve. Cobalt darkened to black, her jaw set stiffly, and her fingers tightened as she reached for the mass of cotton. With rigid movements she scooped up the burden the cloth withheld and set it lightly to her side before beginning to return the scattered closet contents to their rightful place.

Once the bits of kendo paraphernalia were back in organized disarray, she took a self reassuring breath and calmed her raging nerves.

"I can do this." Her voice whispered to the stillness. It didn't even bother to echo back to her. Was it a sign, or just her subconscious playing tricks. Oh, what the hell did it matter?

Kaoru shook herself viciously, mentally. She could just imagine how stupid she looked right now: sweaty, grimy, topless, and crazed. What did she care, though?

For the upteenth time, Kaoru prepared herself. This time, though, she was fully intent on following through. Shifting her stance wider for better stability, the young woman grasped the middle of the thin length of the withheld object soundly in her left hand. It was bound at three intervals, tightly, securely. Sword callused fingers deftly undid the straps and delved into the now open wrapping.

With her back to the open door, Kaoru began, again, the steps of her kata. With a distinctly metal on metal '_shink'_, her arms spread open wide to accommodate for the length of live steel she now wielded.

The differences between the hefty metal blade and her beloved wooden shinai, were immediate and obvious.

Her opening maneuver had taken her swiftly around in an elegant spin and landed her soundly almost a full turn around the room. The blade cut like a dream.

It was painful as hot glass shards, though. It seemed as though her very palms burned and itched from the contact with the katana's grip. Yet, it felt right in a twisted sort of way.

A rattling breath trembled from her lungs as she fumbled to rid the scabbard of its confines and into her hakama sash. With the added weight, however, the loose garment slid further down the narrow swell of her hips and showed more skin than was respectably decent. She looked down, wonderingly, at the exposed skin. It was causing quite a draft around her lower regions and she was increasingly glad that her male companions weren't around to see her in such a state of undress.

"More like disappointed _he_ isn't around." She mumbled dejectedly to herself. Another woebegotten sigh slid from her mouth as she readjusted her slack stance, eager to continue.

It wasn't long until a strange sort of peace swelled within her chest. Heedless of the fact that a lethal, moral breaking device was clenched easily in her grasp, she still felt an unfamiliar, though not unpleasant, bloom of feeling. Her heart was amazed at the the fluidity and ease of the movements she had sworn should've been forgotten. It was if the memory of its purpose was forged into the sword. The precise and potentially deadly strokes melded perfectly with the spontaneous jabs of aikido and karate. Her left leg reared backwards in a back kick before coming back and allowing her right leg to kick sideways and her sword to readily pull downward in a swift strike to an invisible foe.

Soothing swishes of the hakama legs and the clear ringing '_fwhoosh'_ sounds of the striking blade filled the heat charged air between the ricepaper walls. Kaoru's lithe body leapt through the air nimbly and with an uncharacteristic grace and fluidity. The usual light personage was gone with the meditative zen state that came with the sword as her legs carved the air above her head in a roundhouse kick. Her arms moved quickly even before her feet hit the ground, swinging the blade with both hands in a downward diagonal strike.

With something so trying as the final kata, all of the shihandai's focus was on the blade and her body. A hypersensitive awareness sang through her bones. She wasn't used to fighting like this and her body was alight with foreign emotions.

_Downward strike, diagonal strike._

_Pivot._

_Frontal sweep._

_Spin, sidestep._

_Horizontal strike, back-flip._

The burn she was used to with heavy exercise was tenfold with the added weight of the metal katana. Every muscle was searing with a crackling heat that felt very much different from the sun's rays. The soles of her feet tingled from excessive contact with the wooden floor, unprotected. Her hands were sensitive from the strange feel of fabric softened steel clenched firmly between her small hands, catching on calluses in a way wood did not.

Sweat was causing her skin to itch as it gathered at the bends of her knees and the valley of her chest. Her hair was like vines, crawling up her jaw and temples and sticking to her spine. It was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

The rise and fall of her chest was becoming steadily deeper as her blade split the air again in a wide arc over her head. The end of the kata was approaching. Each flick of her wrist and flail of her limbs brought her closer to the final stretch.

_Downward left diagonal strike, downward right diagonal strike._

_Step. _

_Thrust._

_Pivot, downward strike._

"Kyuh!" Kaoru's sharp cry rang out. Her body twisted, coiling like a snake before pushing of in a violent, graceful spiral. Her blade whirled and swung with her like a child's top. Finally, after several revolutions, her left foot struck out and ceased her movements.

She remained in that position for several, long moments; her breath strong and even. Even while her arms shook and her legs wavered. Then, from the horse stance she landed in, she rose and relaxed her form. A flick of her aching wrist sent the nonexistent blood staining her sword, and a hesitant glance to the side helped her guide the tip of the blade back to the scabbard and successfully sheathe the gleaming length.

It was only then, with her adrenaline ebbing, that she dare let her breath rattle out.

As she walked to a corner of the dojo where a pitcher of warm water awaited, she couldn't help but clench and unclench her fists at the memory of the metal that had, not long ago, been held within her grasp. The joints of her fingers groaned and creaked as they flexed; rigid from hours of swordplay.

The water wasn't nearly as refreshing as she'd dared to hope. It swished within the confines of her mouth with a thick texture that only unpleasantly warm water had. Yet, even with the grossness it coated her mouth with there was some semblance of relief as it travelled down to her gut.

Amidst the hefty gulps she took of the liquid, she barely paid heed to the thin rivulets as they slipped past her lips and dripped down to the floor to mingle with the salty pools of sweat falling from her as well. All too soon the vessel ran dry and she begrudgingly placed it back down on the floor.

Though her thirst was barely quenched, she wasn't about to traverse out of her little sanctuary to the well. Even though the probability of her being seen was low, and even if the liquid sloshing at the bottom of the well was most assuredly cooler than that she'd just ingested, she shied from the temptation. In the back of her mind she slightly noted the low ride of her hakama against her hips, but she couldn't find it in her to care. Propriety be damned.

"If I want to lounge around my home naked, then I shall! Bothersome neighbors can..." Her voice trailed off in low vulgarities concerning just what the neighbors could do.

With a huff she shook her head before rising up to her toes and stretching her hands high above her head, the shift of tension oddly relieving and she sighed to give voice to her findings. she decided then that she would be content to stay like that for indefinite amounts of time, frozen in this languorous position, like a cat awakening from a noonday slumber.

A prickling sensation at the base of her neck had Kaoru stiffening, though. Was she being watched?

Falling back to the balls of her feet, she surreptitiously turned and padded to the rack that held her training shinai. There was an empty place she had failed to fill after she had broken yet another one over Sano's head. A perfect resting place for her father's katana, Shugosha.

As she slid the weapon from her hakama sash and raised it up to the rack, her other hand shot out and drew the blade. She twisted, only to find the tip aimed at air; nothing beyond but the far wall.

"Kaoru no baka." She mumbled. "Even if there had been anyone, what would you have done?" '_You couldn't very well attack them with live steel, you'd never let yourself live it down.' _She silently added.

However, she couldn't shake this odd feeling. As futile as it would be to convince _anyone_ that she never reacted without reason, there was still truth in that statement. She could remain calm when the situation demanded, and she could be reasonable regardless of the situation. Could be being the key phrase.

All rambling aside, she shouldn't feel this rush of eyes on her skin. Depending on who it was, the situation could be dire.

Should it be a threat, her body was already spent with both the physical and mental pressure the sword had caused during her kata. But, if it were a friend, she would worry about the scars along her exposed flesh that would no doubt rouse questions; questions she didn't think she could answer. Hell, she'd probably have an easier time explaining them to an ill meaning attacker than she would the worried gaze of a friend.

Unconsciously her fingers went to rub at the white lines that laced her arms and torso.

Could she tell them if they asked?

They deserved to know. The worry that would pool in their eyes, especially Kenshin's… No! He especially couldn't see her like this. Not like this.

Steel kissed wood as Kaoru's arm went lax with her thoughts. Kenshin least of all could see the marks, not because how he'd come to know of them, but because she doubted she could deny him the story. She couldn't keep herself from him.

Silently, she raised the blade again and returned it to the scabbard and placed it amongst the wood of her beloved shinai.

No.

Kenshin couldn't find out about the scars.

Japanese terms (as they appear):

Shinai- a wooden practice sword

Katana- a type of Japanese sword

Shugosha- one of the many Japanese words for protector. It's the name of the sword, fitting, ne?

Baka- idiot

Ne- a word added to sentences the speaker thinks another will agree with; sort of like 'right'

Please review!

P.S. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to an awesome friend of mine. He helped me through this chapter when it got tough to keep going. Happy late birthday! You know who you are :D

Lion


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